Meet A GCSA Team: Stan, Ralph and Ralph Law Associates

Location: Conyers, GA
Team Name: Stan, Ralph and Ralph Law Associates
Stadium: Morris the Cat's Litter Box
Capacity: 0
Owner: Stan Fonway
GM: Ralph Fonway
Manager: Ralphy-Ralph Peskowitz
Last Season: 20-21, 9th place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Stan Fonway
2B: Stanley Fonway Jr.
SS: Chet Winklebon
3B: Jose Lind
LF: Ralph Fonway
CF: Tunaman
RF: Ralphy-Ralph Peskowitz
C: Lil' Quembo

SP: Ed Murdock
SP: Yu Sha Wu Fen Li
SP: Chung Fonway
RP: Bip Bipperd
RP: Gary
CL: Domination Harris

Meet A GCSA Team: San Francisco 94'ers

Location: Cleveland, Montana
Team Name: 94'ers
Stadium: Viagra Stadium
Capacity: 13
Owner: Ostrich Murphy
GM: Charlie Charles
Manager: Cesspool Wemp
Last Season: 16-25, 11th Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Scratch Ogbott
2B: Sniff-Sniff Peterman
SS: Fob Quinkley
3B: Calm Down
LF: Enrique Wilson
CF: Doo-Da Fim
RF: Coolie Smith
C: Moo

P: Queck
P: Jose Pimpleton
P: Popp Zynn
RP: Odor Franklin
RP: The Annihilator
CL: Steve Johnson

Meet A GCSA Team: New York Albatross

Location: Staten Island, NY
Team Name: Albatross
Stadium: Preparation H Field
Capacity: 6.7 Million
Owner: Henry Gafreda
GM: Mitch Pimstone
Manager: Chuckles Thompson
Last Season: 27-14, 6th Place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Hector Glubdish
2B: Connie Chung
SS: Mikhail Obokorov
3B: Danny Tartabull
LF: Gary Glubdish
CF: DaWight Conchfeld (2010 GCSA MVP)
RF: Loo Wen Wee Fu Wa
C: Cecil O'Fempot

P: Marshmallow Pock
P: Ivan Obokorov
P: Voo
RP: Kekkil Fielder
RP: Toejam Watson
CL: Stankass Horatio

Meet a GCSA Team: Dinkies Oversized Tractors

Location: Fungus, Oklahoma
Team Name: Tractors
Stadium: Dinky Stadium
Capacity: 134,700
Owner: Gerald Geckle
GM: Pupu Hong
Manager: Coolie Johnson
Last Season: 8-33, 13th Place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Stank Yarbrough
2B: Hector Cheecho
SS: Daryl Wee
3B: Vic Vompton
LF: Bucket Hayes
CF: Laird Pinnacle
RF: Quizm Quonk
C: Plimp

P: Otto Kleinsauce
P: Ass Horowitz
P: Snot Jones
RP: Vinnie DelVecchio
RP: Ong Fu
CL: Pinky

Meet A GCSA Team: Victors Vigilant Hobos

Location: Port Wendy, Australia
Team Name: Hobos
Stadium: HeyJerkGetOffMyLawn.Blogspot.Com Field
Capacity: 544,967
Owner: Vic "Booger" Williams
GM: Ballsack Bradberry
Manager: Cletus Broswell
Last Season: 28-13, 5th Place Northwest Conference

1B: Mrooble Fonchonski
2B: Peanut Smith
SS: Juan Tinkleberry
3B: Boris Chekhov
LF: Ox-Nose Winston
CF: Quinton Hatzilias
RF: Cletus Fimply
C: Nostrils O'Shea

P: Lars Poha
P: Hong-Shoo Wu
P: Ahmad Patel
RP: Deskchair Harris
RP: Terry Gossage
CL: Gorilla McPhee

Meet A GCSA Team: North Ave. Coffee Shop Yetis

Location: Atlanta, GA
Team Name: Yetis
Stadium: Rasmussen Stadium at Yeti Field
Capacity: 1600
Owner: Jingo Jinson
GM: Clifton Tuftberry
Manager: Buttface Morris
Last Season: 14-27, 12th Place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Cheryl LaMonge
2B: Veecho Singh
SS: Homer Schlemwick
3B: Jade Peacock-White
LF: Joomba Quinn
CF: Alfred Majocchi
RF: Earplugs Alibaster
C: Pops Didier

P: Li Qua
P: Unger Phwenn
RP: Nosehair Ryan
CL: Poop

BREAKING: League Commissioner Replaced

Barry Kruntz, 4-week league commissioner, has been replaced. Kruntz was terminated early Tuesday morning after it was discovered that he had been doctoring the books and stealing autographed pencils for personal use. Kruntz reported a league profit of just over $14 million last year, when in fact profits were closer to 4 dollars.

Kruntz will be replaced by longtime league hairstylist, Nelson Ming.

Meet A GCSA Team: Montreal Flooring and Carpet

Location: Montreal, Quebec
Team Name: Montreal Flooring and Carpet
Stadium: FC Stadium
Capacity: 14,500
Owner: Edwardo Noonez
GM: Pal Fimply
Manager: Pal Fimply
Last Season: 1-40, 14th Place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Pal Fimply
2B: Cletus Fimply
SS: Helicopter Fimply
3B: Donovan Fimply
LF: Wordsworth Fimply
CF: Don Cheadle
RF: Wee-fu Kuo
C: Murray Rainbow

P: Underwear Fimply
P: Eggstein McNamara
P: Fessel Hombo
RP: Toeless Ed Edderd
RP: Sharif Shuhabadeen
CL: Bill

Paulys Plumbing Update: Christensen Released

Reports are trickling in that Steven Christensen, starting pitcher for Pauly's Plumbing, has been released after reporting to camp at an astonishing 762 lbs. When approached about his weight, Christensen reportedly became furious about what he referred to as a "lack of cheese sympathizers" in this country, then removed his pants and ran off the field screaming.

A new pitcher will be announced within the coming days.

Meet A GCSA Team: Team 35

Location: Unknown
Team Name: 35
Stadium: Team 35 Stadium at Team 68 Field
Owner: Xavier Pococcio
GM: Pistacchio Winston
Manager: Lou Shmensen
Last Season: 25-16, 8th Place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Questionmark Danson
2B: Reggie Fooder
SS: Pops Callahan
3B: Victor Shwartz
LF: Ziggy Osborne
CF: Otis Nixon III
RF: Hoo
C: Sheety Parker

P: Fido Didier
P: Adande Sanchules
P: Reginald Frompley
RP: Foot
CL: Lights-Out Qwashane

Meet A GCSA Team: Paulys Plumbing

Location: Bangor, Maine
Team Name: Pauly's Plumbing
Stadium: 4th Floor Stall, Pauly's Plumbing Workshop
Capacity: 1
Owner: Paul Vexler
GM: Monocle Garrison
Manager: Paul Vexler
Last Season: 26-15, 7th Place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Paul Vexler
2B: Paulie Vexler Jr.
SS: Pete Vexler
3B: Shart Smith
LF: Claire Vexler
CF: Mel Hall
RF: Calculator Man
C: Old Ned Vexler

P: Lenny Vexler
P: Steven Christensen
P: Skidmark
RP: Toilet Wu
RP: Enk Quizenberry
CL: Sid Van Peebles

Meet A GCSA Team: 4th Street Dollar Store

Location: 15th Street, Portland, Oregon
Team Name: 4th Street Dollar Store
Stadium: 15th Street
Capacity: N/A
Owner: Shmulik Shermania
GM: Albert Bogoba
Manager: Puckface Klein
Last Season: 18-23, 10th Place, Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Cash Loola
2B: Midget Jones
SS: Henderson Faribulitz
3B: Claude Devito
LF: Kimmy Kleinsauce
CF: Barold Ossining Sr.
RF: Barold Ossining IV
C: Loo Shen

P: Henderson Faribulitz
P: ! Smith
CL: Lil' Frankie

Meet A GCSA Team: Fred's Hot Dogs

Location: Vancouver, B.C.
Team Name: Hot Dogs
Stadium: Fred's Kitchen
Capacity: 14 (Est.)
Owner: Freddy Fish
GM: Koo-koo Harris
Manager: Clemp Simmons
Last Season: 30-11, Fourth Place Northwest Conference


Roster:

1B: Large Smith
2B: Pupu Reynolds
SS: Hot Dog Sanchez
3B: Laird Obokorov
LF: Stanley Schminn
CF: DeJamal White
RF: Walnut Murphy
C: Maskless Joe Sausageberry


P: Wallace Fonchonski
P: John Tudor
P: Lu-long We
RP: Fastball Martin
RP: Queng Alibaster
CL: Left Shoe

Meet A GCSA Team: Paulfield U. Pauls

Location: Paulville, Wisconsin
Team Name: Pauls
Stadium: Paulfield University Field
Capacity: 1100
Owner: N/A
GM: N/A
Manager: Seth Baumstein
Last Season: DNP

Roster

1B: Lance Horowitz
2B: Sal Delmonico
SS: N/A
3B: Shalom Haimberg
LF: Rabbi Greg
CF: Foo Man-Chee
RF: Horace Grant
C: Stinky Shermania

P: William Bogoba

Meet A GCSA Team: Fetacheeserocks.com

Location: Somewhere in Switzerland
Team Name: fetacheeserocks.com
Stadium: The Cheese Factory
Capacity: 1,550,000
Owner: Lars Underlich
GM: Chauncey Stensen
Manager: Heinrich Ul
Last Season: 33-8, 3rd Place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Frederich Gul
2B: Hans Kepner
SS: Urine Jones
3B: Jurgen Stenson
LF: Johannes Bussembourg
CF: Gus
RF: Bo-Bo Sterner
C: Sergio Fookeekua

P: Abdullah Vwen
P: Louis Xomcheese
P: Gilbert Quigley
RP: Jonas Fern
RP: Lars Underlich Jr.
CL: Inferno Harris

Meet a GCSA Team: Grandma Bertha's Bombers

Location: Manalapan. NJ
Team Name: Bombers
Stadium: Grandma's Porch
Capacity: 5
Owner: Bertha Schoomgongy
GM: Leif Gogund
Manager: Shoelace Thornton
Last Season: 34-7, 2nd Place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Bonk Shermania
2B: Two-Hole Wenklin
SS: J.J. Klecko
3B: Plooble Fonchonski
LF: Harold Reynolds
CF: Steve Balboni
RF: O.O. Jabowitz

P: Gustavo Cream
P: Justin Justin
P: Ko
RP: Barry Ossining Jr.
RP: Chet Wallace
CL: Loopy Fim

Meet A GCSA Team: Cleveland Garys

Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Team Name: Garys
Stadium: Gary Stadium
Capacity: 76,000 (Est.)
Owner: Gary Vonsiglia
GM: Gary Vonsiglia
Manager: Irwin Pebbles
Last Season: 36-5, First Place Northwest Conference

Roster

1B: Harris Bogsley
2B: Chee-Chee Reynolds
SS: Berek Feter
3B: Henderson Valdez
LF: Otis Pinecone
CF: Cucumber Jones
RF: Gary Pettis
C: Dogface Genovese

P: Gromp Phui
P: Alan Venable
P: Gussy Vonsiglia
RP: Horace Mandelby
RP: Dirk Keeko
C: Jed Firestone